The basic definition of codependency is a relationship where each individual involved is either physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually dependent on the other. Codependency is commonly seen in instances where one of the involved parties suffers from a form of addiction, like substance abuse or alcoholism. While codependency is not something that will be clinically diagnosed, it can still play a large part in someone’s addiction.
Signs of Codependency
To visualize a codependent relationship, you can envision a circle. One person needs the other, and that person needs to be needed. At the core, a codependent relationship is imbalanced, where one person forgoes their own needs or feelings because they assume the responsibility of another individual’s needs. In that way, it is the “taker”, the person who needs the other (the “giver”), that holds most of the power.
While one codependent relationship might have different signs than other, there are general signs of codependency that might indicate you are acting as the “giver” in a codependent relationship, such as:
- Apologizing even when you aren’t wrong
- Actively avoiding conflict with the other person
- Feeling sorry for the other person, even in cases where they hurt you
- Doing things for the other person even if it makes you uncomfortable
- Difficulty finding time for yourself
- Trying to fix the other person completely on your own
Why is Codependency Unhealthy?
For the giver in a codependent relationship, you can begin to lose a sense of yourself over time. Since these relationships can start out as one trying to love and care for another, the longer this continues, and the more the other party takes from the giver, the worse the problem becomes. Along with that, the giver in a codependent relationship will generally struggle to remove themselves from the relationship, as they feel they are leaving the other person to struggle alone.
How to Overcome Codependency
Taking the steps to overcome codependency can be difficult, but it can be the difference between a healthy life and a difficult one. Some things you can do to work towards overcoming your codependent include:
- Find a local support group
- Learn to say “no”
- Try to separate yourself from the other person where possible
- Stand up for yourself more often
If you’re in a codependent relationship with someone, especially a loved one, it can be difficult to start the conversation around going to get treatment. Although it is important to prioritize your health as the giver in a codependent relationship, it’s important to still find the time to do the right thing for the other person, and help them take the steps to get clean.
Trust BlueCrest Recovery Center for Addiction Treatment and Information
The battle of overcoming addiction is never one dimensional. It takes the support of the loved ones and friends of the addicted, as well as the commitment and perseverance of the one suffering from substance abuse. If you’re in a codependent relationship, and you want to talk about how you can help the other person get into rehab, don’t hesitate to contact our team today.
