Shame On Us!

A few years ago in Cleveland, Ohio a woman was caught swerving her car onto a sidewalk, illegally passing a school bus full of children. A judge sentenced her to stand on the street corner wearing a sign that read, “Only an idiot would drive around a school bus.” In Arlington, Tex., a billboard features mug shots of suspected johns, with the words, “This could be you.” Arlington is one of many American communities going out of their way to publicly humiliate men who buy sex, while other towns are similarly targeting shoplifters and drunk drivers. And it’s not just judges; parents around the country are also forcing their kids to wear signs — “I am a thief,” for example — to shame them into moral action.

America has a long tradition of public humiliation, dating back to stockades and pillories of the colonial era. But this recent upsurge in the use of scorn and shame is raising important questions about this practice, namely: Does it work? Does shame really motivate people to change? Or does it work the opposite way, further tarnishing people’s self-image and diminishing their sense of personal responsibility?

And how about addiction? Does the same psychological dynamic work with socially undesirable habits like drug use and alcoholism? Shame and addiction are deeply intertwined. Alcoholics may be prone to shame, by disposition, and on top of that, drinking helps numb these aversive feelings. Indeed, alcoholics may drink in part to cope with chronic shame and low self-worth, and the heavy drinking could in turn be causing shame, creating a vicious cycle of abuse.

These complex questions have never been sorted out scientifically — until recently. Two psychological scientists at the University of British Columbia — Jessica Tracy and Daniel Randles — decided to see if alcoholics’ feelings of shame about their addictions might actually interfere with their attempts to get sober. They recruited about a hundred middle-aged men and women from the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, all with less than six months of sobriety. They measured their levels of shame and other emotions, along with personality traits, and then about four months later they brought them back into the lab to see how they were doing in recovery.

One reason shame has gone unstudied is that it is a very difficult emotion to capture. People who are experiencing shame tend to hide the feeling and escape it, not talk about it openly. For this reason Tracy and Randles came up with a novel way to measure shame and assess its effect on behavior: body language. They asked the volunteers to describe the last time they drank and/or used drugs “and felt badly about it” and videotaped their responses. Then, later, they analyzed and coded their body movements and postures as a measure of their shameful feelings. People who are ashamed act very much like submissive animals, slumping the shoulders and narrowing the chest, the opposite of proud chest beating. This physical display of shame may be universal: It has been observed in a range of species, and in both adults and children of many cultures.

The scientists wanted to see if shameful body language correlated with mental and physical health, and especially with successful sobriety, four months later. This is the time window during which most newly recovered alcoholics or addicts will relapse, and indeed more than half the volunteers never made it back to the lab. But with those who did, there was an unmistakable connection between shame and relapse. The alcoholics and addicts who were most ashamed about their last drink or use of drugs — typically a humiliating experience — were much more likely to relapse. Their relapses were also more severe, involving much more drinking and/or drug use, and they were more likely to suffer other declines in health. In short, as described in a future issue of the journal Clinical Psychological Science, feelings of shame do not appear to promote sobriety or protect against future problematic drinking and/or drug use — indeed the opposite.

This was the first scientific evidence to bolster what alcoholism counselors and recovering alcoholics/addicts have long known: Shame is a core emotion underlying chronic heavy drinking and/or drug use. Shame is what gets people into the rooms of AA — it defines the alcoholic/addicts “bottom” — but it’s a lousy motivator for staying in recovery. The power of AA/NA is that they offer something to replace the negative emotions that most alcoholics and addicts know all too intimately. 

Blue Crest Recovery Center is truly steeped in the successful tenets of 12-step programming.  Let us help you or your loved one work through that shame and have a better life! Call us today at 973-298-5776!

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